Guys, have you ever wondered, “What do women want from you on the dance floor?” Trying to figure out what women want, in general, can be a lifelong journey, but it will only take this article to pinpoint their dance needs. I would like to share with you on the things that help me when I first started to understand what women really want from you on the dance floor.
I spoke with a few of my dance friends to better understand what exactly are the things women want when it comes to dancing right now. I was specifically looking at factors like leading, spinning, and framework, to enhance their dance experience.
With the help of my anonymous (but you know who you are) dance friends, I was able to uncover some very interesting findings.
But first, my disclaimer for today. I am not a professional therapist and I don’t have a Masters of Psychology, but I guess I am lucky enough to know people to help me get to the bottom of what women want on the dance floor or should I say what women really want on the dance floor.
Anyways, keep in mind that to truly answer this simple question and unlock the secret might take a lifetime.
So, let’s begin…
ONE
Women Want Men to Ask Them to Dance!
I needed to begin with the simplest, and yet powerful, request what women want on the dance floor. ASK HER TO DANCE. Do I need to say more?
I consider having confidence a wonderful trait to showcase! So, if you see a lady that you would like to dance with, be sure to ask her! Making this first move will certainly impress her. In addition to this, make sure to show your partner you’re enjoying yourself as you dance with her.
I believe there’s nothing worse than dancing with someone who looks like they’re either bored out of their mind or terrified of making a mistake. Dancing is meant to be fun so feel it and show it.
Always remember the power of your smile. Smile and you’ll make your partner smile too. Letting your partner know you’re having fun is one of the best things you can do as a lead.
TWO
What Women Want is to Breathe the Fresh Air
I am going to use this little analogy to explain the next request from the ladies.
Have you ever been in a sauna and someone increases the temperature before they get inside, making you feel that you need a way out because it is way too hot for you?
Ok, women feel just like that when you are dancing very closely to them for the entire length of three or more songs (especially if you’re dancing Bachata), without allowing any air between you. She needs air all the time to keep her engine going!
The simple solution to fix this little problem is: women want you to make them spin more. Women want to be able to move. What women want is to be “shown around,” if you will.
Your Basic Step, the Right and Left Turns, and Cross Body Leads (CBL) are going to be your best friends to help you bring some air into the mix after doing complex moves. Also, if you are dancing Bachata, then your Outside and Inside Turns will come handy to get the same effect.
Who are we kidding? It’s her oxygen, right? So, by giving her what she wants, she doesn’t have to look for a better “view” elsewhere. Am I right?
THREE
Woman Want YOU to Take Control
I am pretty sure you have been in this predicament before at one point or another, right? Right!!
Have you ever been in a situation where you want to eat with your female friend or girlfriend and you hear these not-so-magical words, “I don’t know? Where do YOU want to eat?”
Women feel like this, regarding dancing as well. They do not know what they want to do in that precise moment and rest assured that if you don’t take charge, she will be busy playing with her hair or sipping on her drink instead.
So, what’s the solution? It’s simple. What women want is for YOU to be decisive and they want YOU to take control.
This doesn’t mean you have to be all “macho” with her or ask her to drop down and give you 20 pushups. But, by being polite and assertive, without being shy, will get the results you want.
If you don’t believe me just remember, you lead and she follows. She wants to follow someone with a plan. I mean, a dancing plan that is…
FOUR
Women Want You to Show Your Sensitive Side
OK, let me try another example to introduce the next request. Have you ever tried to learn how to ice skate and everybody told you how easy it is, but when you tried it for the first time, you found out that it was totally the opposite of what they told you?
Women feel this way when they are going to dance with you, and end up wrestling you out on the dance floor instead of having fun, leaving them with broken nails, bruises, and their hair all over their face.
The Solution: what women want AND find attractive is for you to be sensitive, and yet mysterious.
Hmmm, exactly! Class dismissed.
Ok, you can be decisive, even a little macho, without being overly physical. A softer grip is what she had in mind, even though people misunderstand the term “a strong lead.”
You do not need to tear off a woman’s arms to get her to follow you. A good lead should be able to indicate clearly and painlessly which way you would like your partner to go.
Word of warning, guys… Don’t forget that if you use your thumbs to clamp down on your partner’s hands, she has the right to dig her nails into you in return.
So, hold her in the same way you’d hold a delicate and beautiful vase. Make sure she is protected. And when it comes to mystery, always remember, only you know what you are going to do. She doesn’t have any idea which steps you will lead, so don’t be afraid to change up your dance repertoire. This is what women want, I mean, really want on the dance floor
This way you will always leave her wanting more… I think I said enough here!!
FIVE
What Women Really Want Is The YOU Factor
I grew up believing that there is a place and a time to do certain things. Here’s one of those things, and if you are one of those guys that prefers a cold beer over a hot lady ready to dance, then this is for you.
The dance solution for this strange but common occurrence is that what women want is YOU! Whether you’re a brand new or a seasoned dancer, the most important thing she wants on the dance floor is YOU! Believe me when I tell you it’s that simple… what women really want is YOU. Yup, I said it!
Learn to be that special guy in her life. She would actually prefer an unmysterious, turn-a-phobic, indecisive dance version of you any day of the week, over some guy at the bar.
She wants to dance! So put your cocktail drink down and get on the dance floor, tough guy.
I’ve learned that women love a man who has a certain level of refinement. A man who is masculine. A man who is interested in becoming more than just his job. Seeking more out of life than just eat, sleep, and work.
But none of that matters if you can take her to the dance floor and have a good time dancing with her, I’m just saying….
SIX
Women Want the Kiss Element
When I’m speaking of the KISS Element, I am referring to the concept that a simple dance, executed well and on time, is much better than a dance packed with moves that don’t work and the timing is off.
Gentlemen, avoid at all cost diving straight into a dance by stringing together a unending combination of turn patterns and tricks without even listening to the song itself, and exhausting your partner after just three minutes.
Instead, take a moment to see the floor and create the space necessary to showcase some of your more complex routine mixed with a few simple steps. You should allow your partner to compose herself and be ready for the next group of steps. This simple concept ( KISS: Keep It Simple Stupid ) will take you places for sure. What women want in a man is for him to apply the KISS elements when you are out dancing. That simple!
Try it next time you’re dancing and leave women wanting more because this is what women really want. I know.
SEVEN
Women Want You to Read the Fine Print
In the dance world, everybody is there to have a good time. Sometimes I see the following happen at the clubs here in my home town of Atlanta, GA. The guy asks the lady for a dance, and then in the middle of a song, he decides not to continue dancing the song through to the end.
Here is what women want from you to dance at least a single song, whether they are awesome or not, until the end. Once you have asked someone for a dance, you’ve basically committed to them for the entire length of a song.
Show your mutual connection with eye contact. Be focused on your partner while dancing, and not on whatever else is happening on the dance floor.
Also, the dance is not “all about you,” so don’t use your partner as a prop to show
EIGHT
Women Want You to Chameleon Your Way to Her Dance Level
This is a very important skill to have. I learned this skill early on in my career as a social dancer. You have to develop the skill of the chameleon. Why, you may ask? Because women want men to read them in less than 90 seconds and adjust their dancing to the ladies’ dance level.
I know, right?! But, just because you can do a certain move with certain people doesn’t mean that everyone will be able to follow you.
It’s really disheartening and frustrating to a girl if she has a lot of trouble following you just because you’re trying to show off and don’t care if she can keep up. Never try to upstage or dance at a higher skill-level then your lady, because this will cause her to feel uncomfortable.
Remember, start slow. Adjust to her level and you can have a great dance together. Another thing worth mentioning is don’t teach during a dance. If the person you are dancing with can’t follow one of your moves doesn’t mean that you should stop right there in the middle of the song to show her what she’s doing wrong. It can be pretty humiliating.
What women really want is for you to finish the dance, have fun. And maybe, if she wants to learn how to do it, you can show her off the dance floor.
NINE
Women Want a Real Connection with Men
Dancing in general is unique, but dancing with a partner is extraordinary in that it allows us to make connections with total strangers just by offering a hand and saying, “Would you like to dance?”
This can be liberating for some women, who risk being labelled as ‘easy’, ‘loose’, or worse if they simply approach strangers on the street. Guys, what women want is the freedom to share a part of themselves, in a safe place, without fear of misunderstanding.
I don’t know if this true or not, but I would like to think that the average woman does not go to a Latin club or ballroom to ‘pick up’, no matter how good they look out there.
So, guys, play it cool, and just dance for the sake of dancing. Have fun, flirt, wink, whatever. But unless she initiates it (or makes it really obvious), don’t pursue her off the dance floor. Remember The KISS factor, ok?
Really, this is what women really want from you on the dance floor. Keep this in mind.
Conclusion
Now that I gave you a little insight of what women want on the dance floor ( what women really want ), there is only one thing to do… You must be present to win! Be ready to have fun with her!
You have the information on what women really want, now it’s up to you to utilize it.
Keep it up and you’ll be dancing in no time, but most importantly, you will be remembered as an awesome dancer that knows exactly what to do on the dance floor. All this is possible because you have an inside of what women really want. Yes!
Use this info to better yourself but don’t overthink it too much, ok?
Any good dance story always starts about a girl!
Happy Dancing!
your dance studio | YDS
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