Have you ever asked yourself how to make her feel special after dancing with her for the first time, how to make her miss you after dancing with you, or how to make her feel special ALL the time?
I’ve had these questions in my mind since the very first time I started to dance, and I am pretty sure, if you are honest with yourself, you STILL wondering how to do it.
I have looked into this quest for many years and found out the following…
But first, what if I told you that you have the power to make someone’s night awesome at nearly every social event you attend?
Well, this is me telling you: Yes, you can.
You have the ability to make someone’s night feel amazing. You have the capacity to turn someone’s experience into something wonderful. You can make her feel special. Is it simple thing to do? Nope! but YOU can learn how to do it.
Yup, you even have the potential to help someone turn an ‘off’ night into an ‘on’ night.
Now, as an adult, I still remember what my mother would say to me when I was a kid. Every time when I needed to stand up from the table while we were eating and had visitors in the house she would say, “Every time you need to stand up from the table, you ask ‘to be excused’ by the people sitting at the table.”
Or every time someone is doing something for you, YOU need to acknowledge it by saying, “Thank you,” to them. Even now, as an adult, I remember these lessons very fondly and continue to do so. Thank you, Mom, for being super AWESOME!
With that in mind, I want to talk you about how to make her feel happy while dancing with you. The best part of my personal quest to learn how to make this possible is that it is easy to do. It only takes four fundamental things to know and understand.
Here they are:
Question: How to make her feel happy? Your generosity
Your generosity is the key that opens the door from old to new things. It’s your openness to accept an invitation to dance from a person you’ve never met who might be there taking her first group class, or to extend an invitation to dance to a person you haven’t seen before at the club who has dancing experience.
Generosity sees no distinction between them. It is your openness to accept and to give positive experiences and feeling to all dancers around you. This is one thing on how to make her feel special. Try it and see the positive outcome.
Check what Wikipedia define Generosity by clicking this link.
When we learn how to dance Bachata, Salsa, Cha Cha or whatever, we also need to learn to be happy and share moments of joy. Even though everyone performs the dance steps in their own unique way, all of us share the same goal; to have a happy feeling during and after dancing, every time.
What you think versus the reality
In the social dancing world, I noticed that the girls’ levels of fun change between dancing with one person to another. Yup, it’s true. But why?
Maybe you are thinking that ladies prefer advanced dancers. However, I am sure that this is not the primary factor, but what makes someone enjoy dancing with you each time is the power of your smile and the ability to do your steps right. Positive energy is contagious.
Take a moment to find out about what women want by clicking here.
Avoid becoming that dancer who always has a cocky attitude, thinks they are “God’s gift” to women, believes they can lead but they can’t (and then blames it on the woman) or smokes and drinks heavily.
As a dancer, you can set the emotional tone of your dancing. You just need to smile and be more expressive when you dance.
Daniel Coleman says in his book Emotional Intelligence, “The ability to drive the emotional state and another person through emotional contagion is the heart of influencing people.”
So, be happy and stay positive. Here is another way on how to make her feel special. Surprise yourself by giving it a try.
Question: How can you make her feel special? Your willingness to put your ego aside
In a nutshell, your willingness to put your ego aside is setting aside your pride. It is when, as a gentleman, you do not blame your partner for a step gone wrong. It is when you do not roll your eyes at their misstep or missed connection because she is a beginner, or maybe an advanced dancer not paying attention to you.
In order to learn how to make her feel special, the key here is… Don’t focus on her mistakes.
Dance to the fullest and focus on the positive side of things; that’s my clear advice to you. FYI Women like compliments. Did I say that right?
So, they will not appreciate it when you react negatively to their dance mistakes. Rest assured, this could break the dance flow, and the dance will not be fun anymore.
If a girl asks you for advice about a specific salsa or bachata move, you can always give an artful positive and constructive critique.
The art of how to make her feel special does not include forcing your partner to do moves that they aren’t comfortable with.
Learn how to hone your dance skills to her level of dancing. That means, if she can barely do a basic step, do that basic step to the best of your ability. You need to learn how to make her feel like that basic step is the best step of their night.
If your partner is battling an injury, you need to help them ‘re-invent the dance’ to accommodate that injury, even if you have to sacrifice technique, timing, or musicality.
You will see your partner glow with pride at the end of a ‘dance well done’, instead of running away from the floor with insecurity in their eyes.
Question: How to make her miss you? With a selfless dance
My definition of a selfless dance is when you do not make the dance about you. It is when you set aside your own insecurities. Instead, it is when you make the dance about lifting your partner up and making them feel able to conquer the world.
It is really important to acknowledge that this selfless dance requires not treating your dance partner as any less because of their size, gender, age, or dance skills level. All partners are equal and deserve to be treated with respect, care, and understanding of their short comings, if any.
You can make her night through the right actions. You can make a beginner’s night by making them dance at a level they never thought they could.
Give a shy person the dance of a lifetime by holding onto them for even one more song than average. Showing them how much you enjoy dancing with them is priceless
You could make someone’s night brighter by giving them the comfortable, connected, and safe dance they need in that moment the most.
Learn how to provide that safe environment in which they can hone their social dance skills they’re working so hard on to improve. I mean, another safe way to how to make her feel special when you are dancing with them. You can’t go wrong is you apply this.
Question: How to make her want you? Be Your Charming Self.
In this section you’re not going to find a bunch of ways to trick her into falling in love with you. That’s not how I do things when I am dancing socially. What you are going to find here are the things that worked for me in the past.
But don’t just take it from me! Give them a try and see if they work for you.
Learn to pay compliments.
Take the time to give her a compliment, but only if the compliment is sincere and appropriate. Let her know if her dancing ON2 was fantastic, or if you enjoyed seeing her styling on her solo dance. I am pretty sure she would love to hear you acknowledge that.
Avoid at all costs the “Oh girl! Your top looks amazing on you,” or “Oh girl, you are so fine.”
By all means, if you’re thinking in your head that she looks hot in that top, tell her! I’m not sure why most of us don’t compliment other people enough, even when we’re thinking complimentary things.
But, think about how awesome you felt the last time someone complimented you on your dancing. So, whenever something positive sprouts up in your brain about how she looks, something witty she said, or something she’s done, let her know you appreciate it.
Pretty simple, right?
Keep Adding to your dancing toolbox…
Let your true nature as a dancer shine.
That’s right. There is no need to pretend you’re a professional dancer with all the moves known to man under your belt, or that your timing and lead are just perfect.
Let yourself take control of the dance and show her that you are a just a man who wants to have fun dancing, who can make a mistake, and at the same time, you are able to laugh about it with her. Let her see you for what you are as a dancer and she will love you for who you are as a person.
She’ll be just that much more likely to want to dance with you again, I know.
Don’t try to teach her when you are dancing.
If you want to do that to her while dancing, you’re off to a bad start. I promise you. There is always a time and place to offer or receive feedback from the dance and it is, normally, after the song is over and a request for feedback has been made.
Even if you have a few things that you might want to get off your chest about the way she responded to your lead or danced on different timing, don’t do it because this could be a really deal breaker for her.
Be kind to her. Forget about the things she did or didn’t do while dancing with you. Continue to be a gentleman on the dance floor by being supportive of her efforts and her interest in becoming a better dancer.
NOW that we have a clear picture of the four simple, but effective, fundamentals on how to make her feel extra special on the dance floor, we can move on to the five phrases that make everything possible in the first place.
“Would you like to dance?”
Imagine the response you could get with your hand extended palm up towards the lady as you smile and ask her for a dance, instead of grabbing her hand and pulling her onto the dance floor without giving her the opportunity to say yes. Why don’t you try it next time and see if you like it or not?
Just like my mom taught me when I was a kid, take a moment to say, “thank you,” to the person that danced with you. Thank them for taking the time to dance and to have a fun time with you. Even though it might not be perfect all the time, they stayed with you to end the song.
“I look forward to dancing with you again.”
This one has a nice ring to it, and I personally use it all the time. Remember, even though several people go to the same place to dance and have a good time, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be a little courteous with your dance partner.
Do this only if there's a need for it
“I am very sorry!”
Do not try to get cute or sarcastic with this one. If you made a mistake, maybe by stepping on or hitting someone, make sure they know it was unintentional and that you are sorry for it. I believe it is a good practice to have all the time.
And finally, only If she asks you…
“What can I do to improve my dancing?”
In today’s time, it is so easy to blame someone else for mistakes being made, but it is just as hard to hold yourself accountable for the mistakes. I have not yet met a perfect person on this planet, so do not be afraid to give feedback for improvement. Try your best to be positive and very supportive with your constructive criticism.
So, the ultimate question of how to make her feel special on the dance floor shouldn’t be so hard to answer anymore. These are the things I’ve come to learn over the years while dancing socially.
Things like your generosity, being able to put yourself second, and giving her that selfless dance will make this journey a lot easier for you, and at the same time, super special for her.
Women will always prefer a gentlemanly attitude when it comes to dancing. Make a point to ask for a dance instead of grabbing her. Thank her for dancing with you. It is that simple!
Give it a try and see how she will reward you with that pretty smile, time and time again. This is how to make her feel special all the time.
So, what other of your suggestions we should add to the list?
Just leave your comment below and don’t forget to share this article.