In this post, I’m going to show you how to increase your chances of being asked to dance. These tips will also help you learn how to approach a guy to get a dance.
But first, one of my students in a group lesson asked, “why won’t guys ask me to dance?” This must be a question some women ponder if they’re sitting anxious or bored at the event. I’d like to say that the answer is simple, but I would be lying. It’s actually a more complex answer for sure. Being a beginner dancer might make you feel and look shy or embarrassed to dance with someone new or more experienced than you.
In order for this feeling to go away, it is very important to continue learning your essential steps to give you the confidence that will show through your posture and mannerisms. Your confidence will signal to guys that you will be someone they want to partner with.
When you receive an invitation to dance, you should say “yes, I would love to,” and then use this opportunity to introduce yourself. You could also say “I’m just a beginner, so please be gentle (or patient) with me,” and smile. Most guys will be kind and even flattered to show you a thing or two while you’re dancing. When you are finished, make sure to show appreciation for the dance by thanking him.
More tips to help you get asked to dance:
Tip 1: Enjoy Dancing
Apparently, there are men that take some time watching women dance with other guys, then they try to choose the one that seems to enjoy dancing the most. So to increase your chances you should try to make other guys visually appreciate your joy.
If the problem is that you can’t do that because no one has asked you out yet, then try to subtly dance to yourself while standing at the bar or while seated. Show that you’re enjoying the music. This should get someone’s attention, which you can increase with the power of a smile.
If your skills are good, you can also solo dance! Sometimes this gets the attention of the observant man, but don’t overdo it.
Tip 2: Loosen Up A Little
Most of the people who go out dancing are there to have fun. They want to dance with people who smile and laugh and have some skills. Also, If you or your partner makes a mistake, laugh it off. Serious people can be a turn off in social dancing.
Be open to learning new moves. Some people have a favorite move and will be delighted to show it to you if you want to learn it.
Tip 3: Start Your Dance Evening Right
Study all dancers on the floor and try and make a mental list of who are the “best” dancers, who are the showoffs, who are the arrogant ones, who is creative, who is average – good but nothing special, and then who’s mediocre, and of course, who is just plain bad. This operation will take you two or three songs.
It doesn’t help to start your night dancing by asking a bad dancer, right? Right!
The point of this exercise is that you’ll have to take the initiative, and this brings me to the last tip.
Tip 4: Believe In Yourself
Stop thinking of yourself as the girl that no one wants to dance with. You don’t have a problem. You are who you are. If you can’t spin around the floor like a butterfly, it does not matter.
But what if you’ve practiced and you’ve become more confident, but no one is running over to take you on the floor? It’s okay to ask someone to dance with you.
Follow these 3 easy steps to get the job done:
1. Get up out of your chair.
2. Cruise the floor and make yourself visible.
3. Walk over to the person and ask, “May I have this dance?”
Admittedly, for a woman or even a man, this takes courage, but the fact that every person at this event has come to enjoy the dance, the likelihood is strong that you won’t be refused AND just like women are flattered to be asked to dance, most men are flattered to be asked as well. Remember that (just saying).
It is important to keep in mind when you are asking someone to dance, that your partner may be more experienced than you, and it’s very likely he will put more consideration and guidance into the dance and hopefully, he will avoid complex or crazy moves and keep it nice and sweet.
Sometimes all it takes is to invite guys who look unpretentious and enjoy dancing. If no one is dancing with you for a while, you can just chat with people nearby or watch good dancers. But if you choose to wait for someone to ask you to dance, remember the power of a sweet smile.
The big take away…. It’s normal to feel shy or nervous when you are at a dance social. These feelings happen for men and women alike. Practice, patience and continuous learning will be your best friend. Finally, realize you are in a place where people of every level of skill are there to do one thing, and that is…. to have fun.
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